Boo-Bees!

When I moved back to AK I could hardly wait to hit the State Fair. It was always one of my yearly highlights as a child. I went with my brothers- not biological (but pretty much are as we are all halfies)- and their families.

Being the hottest summer in ages, the food court was swarming with bees. I was eating my favorite (yeay for funnel cakes!) when I got stung. Or bit. Whatever the difference (yes, I do know that the stinger is in the butt), but both hurt. So I got stung, and it hurt for ages. For pretty much the rest of the day it kept hurting and so I kept whinging until they finally told me to quit being such a girl (told you they are my brothers!) and to stop whining.

A few days later, my dd and I were doing our daily walk to the mailbox. It’s a mile away, so it’s a great way for us to get some steps in and to zap some energy out of our crazy husky pup. We stopped on the way back to visit with a neighbor, and I got stung again. Same arm, almost same spot

My arm swelled up like a turkey leg, and didn’t really go down. I asked my medical community friends and they kept telling me it wasn’t normal and that I should get it checked out for cellulitis. This, of course, I completely ignored (because we all used to work together and are used to ignoring each other) and then about a week later finally gave in.

As I didn’t have a primary care in AK yet, I made the drive to town and went to the clinic. The doctor evaluated me and determined that I didn’t have cellulitis (as there was no pus, or red blaring streaky things). He wrote me a prescription for an epi pen and welcomed me back to AK and with my new allergy to bees.

Fast forward a couple of years to the middle of this August, and our summer holiday in Valdez. Like a boss, I loaded everything for the camping trip the truck the night before. In the morning, dressed in jammies, I diligently popped the hood to check the fluid levels before embarking on our 6 hour journey. When I climbed up the front of the truck I felt a burning pain in my knee. I bent over and promptly felt a searing pain in my boob. I saw these little tiny brownish/blackish bees hovering around me. They weren’t like the bright black/yellow hovering demon wasps that live in the ground and at the state fair. They were much smaller, and the feeling didn’t hurt so much as burn. It didn’t feel at all the same as the wasp sting, so I rubbed it off, hoped I wouldn’t have to use my epi pen (which would then foil our plans and add in a trip to the urgent care), got the kiddos loaded, and we left.

My boob was a bit irritated, but mostly ignored :P. That night as I laid in the camper bed, I managed some time to feel my boobs. Much to my surprise I felt a huge hard lump so started freaking out a bit, and ran things over again in my hamster head. Why was this huge lump in my boob but not my knee. Was it really a bee sting? Could it have been there before?

A few weeks prior I had a women’s health preventative visit. Yeay! Way to go responsible me, establishing primary and specialist care (ahem, after 2 years, blame COVID). Okay, so I didn’t actually do it for me. My dd was coming of age for it, and I wanted to show her a healthy pattern of routine medical care. At the visit the doctor asked when the last time I did a breast self exam was. I mumbled something like “Ummm, well I have dense boobs so they always feel a little lumpy anyway”. She did the once over, did not feel anything suspicious but set me up for a routine mammogram- cuz I’m old.

Back to Valdez, it had been 2 weeks! THERE WAS NOTHING THERE TWO WEEKS AGO! What if it wasn’t from the bug bite? WAIT…what if it was from the birth control? The birth control… I started taking birth control about a month prior. A progesterone and estrogen pill. Could that be it, or could I be crazy? So I fretted all night and then checked it out in the mirror in the morning. I could see a puncture mark in the mirror and some red swelling. Maybe it was a spider bite instead? I called my PA friend to ask if I was crazy. She talked me down and told me to go get the mammogram, which of course I didn’t want to do, so I didn’t go. I figured if it was a bug bite it would heal.

I didn’t want to do a mammogram, well, because it’s kind of like cancer. No one really wants to get cancer, and likewise no one wants to get their boobs smooshed. I also had this premonition that if there is a lump somewhere, a doctor somewhere is going to want to biopsy it, curious creatures that they be, no matter what it was. For a woman, words like mammogram, biopsy, and cancer go hand in hand, and no one really wants to say or ponder any of those words. So I figured if I waited long enough the lump would go away. It didn’t.

I waited about a month and then went to my scheduled primary care visit. My blood pressure was high at this visit (white coat syndrome?) but other than that I told her I felt in good health, until she asked about self exams. So then I had to tell her about my boob. The lump was either the same size or larger. It never shrunk and I felt hot shooting pains through it at times. There was a small bruise underneath my boob. I thought maybe the bite was infected (hey, cellulitis anyone?) but the look on her face told me otherwise. She explained that maybe I had gotten stung or bit but the lump was not in the same location as the puncture site. This time she ordered me a diagnostic mammogram instead.